


[2 days to MidoTaka Week] Short Drabbles

by ShadoWolf55



Series: MidoTaka Week 2017 [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, MidoTaka Week 2017, just short drabbles, midotaka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 06:52:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11143131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadoWolf55/pseuds/ShadoWolf55
Summary: Yo! Here are just some short drabbles I wrote for the countdown to MidoTaka Week! 2 more days!!Prompts are available at: midotakaweek2017.tumblr.comThank you for all your support!!





	1. Importance

“You are very important to me, Takao. Listen, please.” Midorima desperately grabbed Takao’s arm and pulled him to a deserted corner but Takao swatted him away.

“Really? I am important to you? Then why the hell were you making out with Akashi, of all people?!” Takao raged as a teardrop rolled down.

“How many times must I tell you, we did NOT make out! I don’t even like that guy!!” Midorima yelled back, offended at that accusation.

“I doubt so, get away from me.” Takao rudely pushed Midorima to the ground and ran out of school.

“TAKAO! DON’T DO THIS! YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME!” Midorima screamed as loudly as he could, attracting the attention of several students but he didn’t care. He wanted Takao back. How could Takao think that he wasn’t important at all to the shooting guard? How could he? Takao was Midorima’s first friend and first crush.

And now this was all coming to an end because Akashi had suggested that they go out alone. And Takao just so happened to see the two of them together. Midorima wasn’t lying when he said Takao was very important to him. Takao helped him be friendlier and more understanding towards others. Takao helped him to be more sociable. Takao helped him to lead a happier and better life.

Damn you, Akashi.

His heart was twisting and wrenching in all possible directions as teardrops fell out of his eyes. Midorima knew he was embarrassing himself by crying in school as he tried to get up but realised he had sprained his ankle when Takao shoved him. He clenched his heart tightly as he limped to the Basketball room. He couldn’t believe takao doubted him.

_I am important to you?_

Pain shot through his heart like a bullet, leaving behind a visible wound.

_Really?_

Midorima felt as someone stabbed him as his knees were slowly giving away. He could no longer hold back the flood of tears that drenched his shirt. His hair was in a mess, his glasses were stained and he simply looked horrible.

_When will you understand how important you are to me?_


	2. Good Enough

“Just when, when? Will I ever be good enough for you?” The boy yelled at his partner who stood silently.

His partner just stared at him, at a total loss of words.

“Answer me, you damn fool!” THe boy pulled his teammate up by the scruff of his shirt, glaring into those beautiful emerald eyes.

“You are always good enough for me.” He replied.

“Liar!” The boy threw his partner onto the ground, “Every time I try to kiss you, you move away. Every time I try to get near you, you run away. Why? Are you scared that I will do things to you? I thought we had an agreement that I will never do anything inappropriate, Shin-chan. What is this then? How good, how wealthy do I have to be in order to freely kiss you?! Do you… do you even… l-love me…?” A single tear rolled down his cheek. Those words pained Midorima’s heart indescribably as he felt his chest constrict.

“I love you, Takao. What is the meaning of this?” Midorima raged as the false accusation.

“Well, I don’t think you do. You know what? I think we should break up. Now.” Takao shoved Midorima to the ground.

“What do you mean we are breaking up? We just got together 3 months ago and now you want to break up?” Midorima roared with fury. There was no way he was going to let everything crumble like this.

“Well, that’s because you don’t love me anymore!” Takao choked back on his tears and ran.

“Takao! Takao! Hey wait!! I love you! What is the meaning of this?!” Midorima yelled. Tears were flowing down his face. He never intended for this to happen, no this has caught him completely off guard. He had called Takao over to propose to him, not for them to break up. No, this had all gone wrong.

He wanted to get up but his legs would not comply. He stretched out his hand in hope of pulling Takao back into his arms.

_I love you Takao._

_How could you… how could you doubt my love for you…?_

_I love you, I really do. I don’t understand this._

_Why… why do you think I don’t love you?_

Midorima sat on the grass and stared into the starless sky. The moon shone back onto him as he glanced down at his own reflection in the stream. Midorima wished this was all a dream, that none of this was real, that Takao would come back running into his arms, apologising and saying that they will never break up.

To be honest, Midorima had no idea why they were breaking up.

It was a known fact that Midorima didn’t quite like human touch. When someone gave him a pat on the back, he would flinch and tell them to go away. Takao, Takao was the only person who could freely touch Midorima and the shooting guard would not even mind. Takao was the only one who had touched Midorima’s untaped left hand, Takao was the only one who had hugged Midorima, Takao was the only one who had touched Midorima’s lips.

Midorima didn’t remember backing away, he only remembered pulling away when they were in public. He never could handle public attention and he wasn’t exactly comfortable with them kissing in public. Sure, he didn’t mean to run away from Takao but maybe the boy had taken that as another meaning.

But what hurt the most was that Takao for a moment doubted Midorima’s love for him.

Takao was the only one Midorima loved. If Midorima had to choose between his job and Takao, he would whole-heartedly choose the latter. After all, Takao was very important to him, Takao had helped him to where he currently was, Takao had helped him make friends with his colleagues, Takao had helped him understand people better. Takao was crucial to him, he wasn’t going to lose Takao just like that.

He couldn't.


	3. No more

“Takao, I-” The raven head stopped my sentence with a horrified face. “I get it, Midorima. I’ll leave then.” His voice sounded casual but I could sense the pain and dismay that came with it. And he called me ‘Midorima’. That name sounded so foreign, so unfamiliar, so unloving. A single teardrop left my face as the door squeaked open. 

“I’ll be moving to America next week.” He softly announced as he picked up a box. It ached my heart to hear his voice cracked as the man tried to hide his eyes beneath his bangs. “I hope you will have a good life.” The man stepped out and closed the door behind him. He never looked back.

I wanted to tear the door open, to run down the corridors, call out his name, hold him back by the arm and tell him I’m sorry. I wanted to make him stop, I didn’t want him to leave me, to leave the country. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him.

But my legs wouldn’t move. They wouldn’t obey. It was as if they didn’t want me to be with Takao anymore.

My knees grew shaky as I collapsed on the ground. I… How could I do this… How could I do such a thing… It was my fault… Mine… He should not be the one leaving… It should be me… I slowly closed my eyes and let the wave of darkness and desperation wash over me.

_ “Good morning, Shin-chan.”  _

_ “Takao…?” _

_ “Why do you look so shocked to see me?” _

_ “Nothing, it’s just…” _

I rubbed my eyes and turned to the left like I always did. Beside me was nothing, nothing more but empty sheets. Takao, he, he wasn’t here, anymore. Stupid me… He left yesterday… No more ‘Good morning, Takao’... What was I thinking?

I fell back under the sheets and buried my face in the pillow. Memories of that night came flooding back and I didn’t even try to stop them. 

_ “I’m really sorry, Takao. It’s not what you saw.” _

_ Silence. Horror. _

_ “Takao, please, you have to trust me.” _

_ “I loved you, Shin-chan.” _

_ “I did too, it’s just that… Please… Takao…” _

_ He said nothing. I could feel the growing sense of despair within him. _

_ Dammit. _

_ “Takao, I-” _

_ “I get it Midorima. I’ll leave then.” _

_ He wasn’t going to return. _

_ “I’ll be moving to America next week.” _

_ Dammit. Why. _

“Why… Takao… Why… I thought… I thought we would get married next year… Why… I know… I know this is my fault… But still… You didn’t… You didn’t have to go to America… did you…?” I softly whispered as I grabbed his pillow and inhaled whatever smell there was left of him. 

Lavender.

It reminded me of that shampoo we used to have, that Takao hated. He would sulk and annoy me the whole day just because I bought Lavender Shampoo instead of his favourite Rose. But he used it in the end. No matter how much he hated that smell, he knew I loved it. He did it for me.

So why, why did I have to do something so selfish? 

“I want to be with you, Takao.” I cried out and I felt tears streaming my cheeks, a faint saltiness in my mouth. I tried to muffle my cries with the pillow case. I just wanted all this pain, this sinking feeling in my heart to end. To get Takao back.

I let my finger hover above his contact. Takao Kazunari. The man I loved but lost all because I made a stupid, unforgivable mistake. I bit my lip and turned off my cell. All hope was lost, there was no way I could ever get him back. He was going to America in a few days, he was going to start a new life, maybe get a worthy girlfriend.

He would probably just forget me and everything we did.

Yeah. There was no way Takao would ever bother to remember a person like me, especially when I cheated his heart. I might just as well kill myself. There’s no point in living when Takao’s not around. I could feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into a hole called depression. There didn’t seem to be anyway out or anything I can hold on to to stop my fall. If falling right to the bottom would end my life and this suffering I would gladly do so.  

Unless Takao came back and pulled me up, I would push myself to climb back up to the top of the hole, embrace him and tell him I was sorry. That probably wouldn’t come true anyway.

_ “Shintarou, don’t you already have a boyfriend?” _

_ “Takao? It’s okay, he won’t find out. He’s not coming back tonight either.” _

_ “That’s great. I’ll come over to your house, Shintarou, if you don’t mind.” _

_ “Of course I wouldn’t mind. Do come over, I’ve been wanting you.” _

_ He came in smart and handsome, as expected of Japan’s richest CEO. _

_ “It’s been awhile, Shintarou.”  _

_ “I missed you, Seijuro.” His lips fell on mine and we collapsed on the couch. I gently rubbed his back, like how I used to do so with Takao. It felt weird, unusual, to be doing this with another man. I couldn’t explain those mixed feelings that always welled up when I felt his soft lips, neither could I comprehend why I started stuttering around Takao more when he asked about my night.  _

_ I probably should end this relationship with Seijuro, or risk the long years I spent together with Takao. _

_ At least, I should have known better when Oha Asa said my love luck was terrible because the next second, he walked right in. _

_“S-Shin-chan…?”_  

“Oi Midorima, stop hiding under the covers. Get up and get him back!” Someone pulled the sheets off me, drew the curtains and let sunlight filter in through the curtains. Ugh. I’ve never seen such bright light in 2 days. Did the person have to do this? 

“Just leave me alone, whoever you are.” I grumbled. Get him back. Ha. As if it was such an easy thing to do. As if I could just run to his house and drag him back. 

“Oi, you think I want to do this? I just can’t stand you sleeping for 48 hours!” The man growled and pulled me by my collar.

“Shut up. Leave me alone, Aho.” “Who are you calling stupid, Shintaho? Who’s the one crying in bed begging for Takao to come back? Who’s the one giving up on getting Takao back? Who’s the one tryi-” 

“I SAID SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! HE’S GONE. TAKAO’S GONE. I CAN NEVER GET HIM BACK AGAIN. DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND? HE’S GONE!” I roared as teardrops fell onto the bedsheets. I closed my eyes and tried to take deep breaths but every time I tried to close my eyes, flashes of Takao would appear and I would wake up, crying and calling out for him. And softly I whispered, “All hope is lost now.”


	4. To an End

“Midorima… I don’t think we… our relationship will work anymore… Thank you for those fun times but I think we should move on.”

“What?”

“I-I can’t keep up anymore. I’m really sorry, Midorima. But I need a life of my own.”

The words stung Midorima’s heart indescribably.

“I… I don’t follow.” Midorima stuttered.

“Don’t you get it? You are tough to be with. I cannot forever stay your servant. I’m moving on, have a great day ahead.” Takao turned and walked away, wrapping his hand in his girlfriend’s.

“I never saw you as a servant! Takao, I love you!” Midorima yelled in pain. 

“Shut up Shintarou, Kazu-chan here evidently doesn’t want to be with you so stop making him, you arrogant, selfish man!” Takao’s girlfriend turned around and spat at him, before tugging her boyfriend’s arm.

And for the first time, Takao didn’t say anything to that insult, unlike what he used to do when the students laughed at Midorima. The green-haired stood there, wide-eyed, heartbroken as he watched Takao’s shadow fade in the distance.

_ This was not happening. This was not happening. He is not arrogant, he is not selfish, he never saw Takao as a servant. Sure, he was tough to deal with, he would admit that, but he never once saw Takao any less than a partner. This… all of this is a misunderstanding! _

_ This is not even a break up, this is… this is… this means that… that…  _

_ … that their friendship had officially come to an end. _

There was a faint taste of saltiness in his mouth and he could feel his knees giving way. He never saw Takao as a servant, he saw Takao as his sole friend, the person he trusted the most, the person he was willing to rant at, the person he was ready to confide with, the person whom he… loved…

And now this was all crashing down because he had been so stupid, so stupid to realise that his feelings would never be requited, not when Takao had a girlfriend, not when Takao was straight while he was just a filthy, disgusting gay.

He couldn’t bring himself to confess, after everything that has happened. He was presented so many opportunities but he never seized any of them. He was so stupid.


	5. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College AU where Takao is drunk

Takao on a daily basis was hard to handle. He would frequently come up with lame jokers, tease Midorima for everything possible and make a mess out of everything. Despite all the times Midorima would get mad at Takao, he never once considered on abandoning or lashing out at the shorter boy.

They were now 19 and miraculously went to the same college and shared the same dorm room. It seemed totally like a coincidence that they were fated to be with each other but neither boy minded. When Takao first started in college, he had attracted the attention of a lot of girls for his exceptional performance in national basketball tournaments. Midorima was also more welcomed than he thought he would be, as the Ace of Shutoku, clinching the Winter Cup in their last year was a popularity boost for them all.

It didn’t take long before Takao found a girlfriend, a pretty cute one, Midorima had to admit. Despite a hectic college life, Takao always went out with her. However recently, they had a heated argument and broke up, leaving Takao heartbroken. That very day they broke up, Takao went out for a drink and Midorima, worried that the boy might do something stupid, followed him to the bar and stayed at a corner.

It wasn’t long before Takao was drunk. Midorima was grimacing at the scene of Takao attempting to flirt with another lady. 

“Ye so hawtt...” The lady looked at Takao uncomfortably and tried to leave but Takao held her back. Midorima perfectly knew that the lady didn’t want Takao to touch her and quickly walked up to snap his friend awake.

“Takao, we are leaving.” Midorima whacked Takao on the head. Turning to the lady, he apologised, “I’m sorry, my friend is very drunk. I will be taking him home now.”

A drunk Takao is the worst thing to ever handle, even for someone like Midorima who was too tall for Takao. He frequently had to hunch his back so that he could support Takao and that wasn’t exactly pleasant for the green head. Once he managed to safely get Takao to the rickshaw, Midorima would pedal both of them back to the dormitories, just before the curfew ended.

By then, Midorima had given up on supporting Takao. From experience, he knew that no one would be moving along the corridors. After parking the rickshaw, Midorima carried Takao in his arms and sprinted to their room. Carefully, Midorima set Takao on the bed. Takao reeked of alcohol as he was semi-conscious.

“sHIN-chan… heeeyy sHIN-chan, di enywon sey ye got beeeautefull eies?” Midorima blushed and proceeded to help Takao change out of his clothes.

“sHIN-chan… dun ignare me-” Midorima said nothing as he removed Takao’s top.

“SHIN-CHANNNN” “Go to sleep Takao.”

“shin-chan, ey luve yuuuu.” Midorima froze. “EY LUV YU, sHIN-cHAN.” Takao repeated.

Weird feelings began to stir within Midorima. To be frank, he did have some feelings for the hawk-eyed boy. Takao was the only friend he had and it was not surprisingly they had grown close and may even feel things other than… friendship.

“SHIN-CHAN I LUV YAAA.” “Shut up, Takao.” Midorima had no idea what he should say. He realised his feelings for Takao when they won the Winter Cup, the fluttery things he felt when Takao gave him a hug as the supporters yelled ‘Shu-toku! Shu-toku!” Takao had felt warm and… loving.

“sHIN-CHAN dun be meaannn… i luv ya so mach.”

When they entered college, Midorima finally comprehended what he was feeling. Of course, it was love. But for a boy to love another boy, that would be weird and unacceptable in such a world. Then again, Kuroko and the other guys were in relationships with guys. Yet, he still felt that he should not say a word about it to Takao, even if it meant watching Takao fall in love with yet another girl.

“sHIN-cHAN, ansver meeee. Do ya luv meee?” Midorima rested Takao’s head on a pillow and pulled up the blankets.

“Go to sleep, Takao.” Midorima ignore Takao’s question.

“gudnite shin-chan. du yaa luv meee?” Takao whispered as his eyelids fell.

“Tell me that again when you are sober and I will answer.”


	6. Excuses

A dark figure tore down the streets of Tokyo, keeping an even pace despite running for quite some time. Behind him, a short figure seemed to be chasing after him mercilessly. The short figure yelled out something but the dark figure didn’t care. As he continued running, his hood was blown down by the wind, revealing his green hair that stood out in the crowd.

“S-Shin-chan. Wait!” Takao cried out as he ran after Midorima, who was way ahead of him. Midorima stopped and grabbed Takao by the collar, dragging him to a nearby alley.

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” Midorima roughly pushed Takao to the wall.

“W-What do you mean?” Takao winced when his back roughly hit the wall.

“WHY DID YOU KISS HIM, OF ALL PEOPLE, AHOMINE?!” Midorima raged.

“I… I was drunk…? And why do you even care?”

“BEING DRUNK ISN’T AN EXCUSE! FORGET IT, GO HOME YOURSELF!” Midorima roughly pushed his friend aside, put on his hood and tucked his hands into his pocket. In the night with only occassionally street lights, he didn’t stood out amongst the rest.

“S-Shin-chan…”  _ What on earth have I done now? _

\--

Midorima hung his head low as he walked back to his apartment. No, they were leaving together, he shouldn’t go back. Midorima decided to make a left turn towards the park instead of the usual right turn. He didn’t know why Takao kissing Aomine bothered him so much, neither did he exactly care. He just wanted to get that strange feeling out of his chest and somehow raging at Takao seemed to work. Partially. He sat near the banks of the rivers and hugged his knees as a cold breeze swept by. A single teardrop fell out and that signalled the beginning of a flood.

\--

Part of Takao had wished that everything was just a nightmare. That he would wake up and none of this had ever happened. He stood amongst the shadows, wishing that Shin-chan would suddenly come running back and apologise. He didn’t quite understand what had just happened, neither did he understand why he had gotten himself into such a mess. It must have been from all the shots he had just now. Takao leaned against the wall and was almost tempted to crash his head into the wall.

How could he be so stupid to realise? No, his feelings for Shin-chan were definitely not unrequited!

\--


	7. Unsaid

He tore down the streets and turned into the park they used to go. He found his lover leaning against the railings on the bridge, looking out into the night sky. He stopped just inches away and noticed the significant dismay on his face.

“Shin-chan… you came…”

“Yeah, so what is it, Takao?” Midorima tried to seem casual. Weird, ominous feelings were stirring up inside him and he had no idea why he had a bad feeling about this.

“I… I just t… thought that we should…” 

Midorima gulped as lightning cackled.

“T-That we should break up.”

Midorima stared at Takao, dumbfounded.  _ Wait, this was not happening. After being together for 1 and a half years now, we are not breaking up! _  Midorima felt his chest tightened as a single tear rolled down Takao’s face.

“I know you probably wouldn’t want to… but I don’t think we can… you know… continue this… anymore…” 

“Continue what?” He asked, trying his best to hold back the tears.

“I don’t know… it’s just… everytime I kiss you, touch you… you pull back…”

_ The soft lips of Takao’s touching his and a second later, they were separated as the green haired man pulled away roughly and blushed. _

_ “What’s wrong Shin-chan?” _

_ “N-Nothing… Go back to your work…” _

“I love you… but you never said that to me…”

_ “I love you Shin-chan.”  _

_ Midorima’s face went red instantly. _

_ “Ah… I need to… go toilet…” He ran out as he tried to calm his racing heart. _

_ Takao had confessed and he had just stupidly came up with an excuse and ran away. _

“I really want to be with you… but it seems like you don’t want to be with me…”

_ Midorima approached the room to see Takao burying his face amongst pillows, crying soundlessly. Then he remembered what had just happened. _

_ “I… I l-love you… S-Shintarou… W-Why don’t…. You… l-love me back…?” _

_ Takao loved him. Midorima loved Takao. But Takao didn’t know Midorima loved him. _

“I just don’t think I can keep this up anymore… I need someone who will gladly accept the love I show… to shower me with their own love… I think this relationship is one-sided… and it should… end before it gets… worse…” 

_ I love you. Kazunari. _

“I think this will be the best for both of us.” 

“I love you, Shintarou.” Takao turned away wordlessly and left.

Midorima stood there as he watched Takao leave. He wanted to reach out to Takao, to hold him back, to tell him none of that was true, but his body would not comply. A single tear drop rolled down his cheek. It was his fault we broke up, it was his fault, he didn’t tell Takao how much he loved him. If he had done so, this would have never happened.

Midorima collapsed onto his knees, holding onto the railings for supports. As the park fell silent, tears streamed down his face as he buried his head in his hands. The man’s heart ached, like it was wrenched tight by wires and refused to be released. Midorima’s vision was getting blurry and could barely see a thing. He wished this was a dream, that Takao would suddenly run back into into arms and apologise for everything, that this was not happening, that they would never break up.

But he knew that was never going to happen.

Midorima wondered if Takao would be at home, they lived at the same apartment after all. Then again, the apartment was rightfully Takao’s and if anyone should be moving out, it should be him. Midorima couldn’t bear to face Takao, he would only feel worse and cry the soul out of him. It was already late at night and he might just as well find a place to stay, maybe one of his former teammates’.

“Hello Kuroko… Sorry for calling so late… I need some place to stay for the night. Can I come over to your house or is Kagami there?”

“Kagami-kun isn’t at my house today, Midorima-kun. Would you like to come over now?”

“Thank you Kuroko.” Midorima proceeded to hang up.

“Wait, Midorima-kun. Are you okay?”

“Probably not.”

* * *

"It hurts. It hurst so bad. I don't know what to feel anymore. I probably should have just told him I felt the same way." Midorima softly mumbled into Kuroko's chest as the former shadow tried his best to comfort the Miracle Shooter. Midorima Shintarou was an utter mess, having collapsed at Kuroko's door because his knees were just too weak, his clothes was drenched, his face tear-stained and his hair, well his hair couldn't be messier.

"Then why didn't you tell him that?"

"I couldn't. I just... I just can't, the words... they wont leave my mouth. I-I could recite it in front of a mirror but when I see him I just... I freeze up and I don't know what to say anymore... It's not easy you know..." Midorima knew he was really close to crying in front of Kuroko. It was all too much to bear, he couldn't even the muster the courage to tell Takao 3 words the hawkeyed clearly wished for.

He was such a coward.

A single tear fell out from his eyes and dripped down his face, followed with more teardrops falling down before he just lost it completely, tugging Kuroko's shirt so tightly he was pretty sure Kuroko would never forgive him for that. Kuroko felt horrible for Midorima, mainly because he knew how much the Shutoku Ace loved his partner. He had noticed the smiles on Midorima-kun's face, those he had never noticed in Teiko but only surfaced when Takao was there. The smiles reserved for his lover, he supposed. He couldn't say that Takao was at fault for wrecking Midorima up this bad, neither could he completely blame the both of them.

Well, some things were probably better when left unsaid, but this certainly wasn't one.

* * *

Takao pressed the doorbell to his Ex-Captain's house and out emerged a surprised Otsubo-san. "Takao? What are you doing at this hour? Hey, are you okay?" Takao just suddenly came collapsing into thank goodness, Otsubo's arms and not the hard ground. "Takao, oi Takao you okay?"

Takao's eyes fluttered open for a moment. "Tell me, Captain, does Shin-chan love me?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is story is the 1st chapter of a midotaka fanfic im currently writing. ill inform yall when ive got the story started and posted. till then, look forward to reading it!


	8. Something Important

Time seemed to pass so slowly as Midorima sat on the bed, knees hugged tightly together and a photo gripped tightly in his left fingers. They were still taped but he hasn’t changed it since he returned home from school. 

Another tear rolled down his cheek and dropped on the photograph. 

Takao’s vibrant smile while holding his hand.

He felt his chest constrict and tried to lean back and relax but his heart was aching so badly. Midorima just wanted everything to be a dream, that he will suddenly wake up and realise that none of this had ever been through. There was no way he would ever lose Takao over some girl, not now, not today, not ever.

But it had all been too much for him. Today was probably one of the worst days in his life and he wished it had never happened. That Takao would never, ever cut Midorima out of his life and leave him all alone.

It happened after lessons when Midorima wanted to invite Takao for lunch at his house. He fortunately managed to catch Takao in time when his girlfriend appeared like fate was mocking him, grabbing Takao by the arm and pulling him over to her car.

“See you later then, Midorima!”

Midorima clenched his fists tightly as the car door slammed and drove away. He ran out of the school gate, not even caring for a second if he accidentally knocked someone’s books on his way out. He tore down the streets as fast as he could and halted to a stop in front of his house. Tears were threatening to fall as he fumbled in his bag for his house keys. The moment he managed to unlock him, Midorima flung the door shut behind him and collapsed on the floor. Takao never called him ‘Midorima’, it was always ‘Shin-chan’ since Day one. The nickname ‘Shin-chan’ was annoying nonetheless but overtime, Midorima had grown to be fond of it. The nickname reminded him of Takao and their friendship.

_ Maybe he doesn’t see you as a friend anymore. _

_ No, that will never happen. Takao has never given up on me, even when we lost to Rakuzan, he didn’t lose faith in me at all. _

_ How are you so sure that he is still your friend, how are you so sure that you can still love the current him. Takao has changed. _

_ He hasn’t, he has just lost his way and I must lead him back to me. _

_ What if he can’t be lead back? What if he isn’t the one who lost his way? What if it was… _

_...you? _

And that was how the green-haired ended up locked in his room, curled up in a corner of his bed and crying uncontrollably. He didn’t know which was more painful, Takao calling him ‘Midorima’ or that change in gaze in Takao’s eyes.

Until a week ago, Takao’s eyes always radiated happiness and joy when around the shooting guard. Midorima always noticed that unmistakable flash of delight when they successfully completed their latest trump card. However recently, that passion and fire seemed to have died down. The usual flash of delight was replaced with blank, cold eyes that seemed to radiate nothing more than emptiness. The change was slow, starting off with a decreasing number of smiles, and ending off with nothing more than a forced smile. Midorima did not know what caused this, and he hated to think that it was him.

That maybe it was his fault Takao wasn’t smiling anymore.

Midorima was never friendly to begin with. Takao seemed to be the only person who could stand being around him and actually enjoy the time they had together. He never complained, not when he always lost and was made to pedal, not when Midorima made him pedal to the other side of Japan for his lucky item, not when Midorima stayed back for extra practice, not when Midorima ignore him, not when Midorima made him arrive earlier, not when Midorima did anything to him. He had never let slip a word of harsh complaint. An occasional complaint was pretty much expected and the both of them had already seen it as a sign of their ‘friendship’. Without Takao complaining, he wasn’t Takao and Midorima wasn’t Midorima. 

Takao was Midorima’s only friend other than his former teammates.

And now, this was all going to be destroyed. His sole friendship, the only thing he would do anything to protect, was going to all crumble down. Midorima had no idea what he could do to stop this as more tears streamed down, staining his face and blurring his glasses.

How on earth was he going to salvage such a situation?

###

 

Basketball wasn’t helping Midorima much either. Takao would arrive on the dot and left on the dot as well. No more staying back after practice with Midorima, no more pedalling him home, no more rickshaw rides, just Takao and his girlfriend and Midorima alone. During practice, their form was getting worse and worse, they could barely look at each other in the eye. The team had yelled at them couple of times but nothing had worked.

“Seriously, can you two work out your problems? How the hell can we practice when your passes are getting sloppier and your trump card is failing?! What the hell is happening?” Miyaji yelled at them after practice after yet another horrible training session.

“Nothing.” Takao muttered. “Bye,” he grabbed his bag and walked out of the locker room.

Midorima felt his heart torn apart yet again and struggle to keep his calm. “I will be practicing.” He replied cooly and walked out back to the gym.

_ Dammit. _

_ He had just ran away. Worthless, scaredy cat. Takao was messing him up, messing his mind up.  _

_ UGH. _

The ball rebounded off the hoop and Midorima knew he had entered the phase where he would just miss the rest of his shots. Sighing, he picked up the ball and gently tossed it up like a lay up like he used to do. The ball circled around the rim before falling out.

_ I’m so hopeless now. _

Midorima pushed the cage back to the store room and returned to the locker room, surprised to find Otsubo waiting for him.

“Yo Midorima, let’s head back.”

“... Why are you waiting for me…?”

“If you want me to leave, I can leave.” Otsubo got up apologetically and turned to leave.

“Wait… I would appreciate your company, Captain.” Being someone he was comfortable with was definitely better than walking alone with his heart broken and all that. At least, if anything happens, Midorima knew he could trust his Captain. They left the locker room and locked the door, stepping out into the cold air.

“So… what exactly is happening…?”

“...”

“Midorima, you know you can trust me with this.” Midorima did know that he could trust his captain with whatever was happening. He had trusted his captain and let out his feelings for Takao, he had trusted his captain and cried into his arms. He trusted his captain wholeheartedly.

“I don’t wish to talk about it.” Every time someone mentioned Takao’s name, his mind would bring him back to the time Takao called him ‘Midorima’ and make him lose his mind. Every time he saw Takao, he wondered if Takao really meant it when he said ‘Midorima’ instead of ‘Shin-chan’. Following that incident, Takao had reverted to calling Midorima his usual nickname. Maybe it was just a slip of a tongue but doesn’t that reveal that Takao might have hidden feelings towards him, possible negative ones? But Midorima loved him, loved him with his whole heart and his feelings were basically unrequited.

“Midorima.”

“...”

“Are you sure you want to conceal everything and let all the suffering you are going through pile up? Are you sure you won’t feel better if you just poured everything out? We both know that you trust me. Believe me, listening to you ranting isn’t paradise but if it can lighten the load on Ace-sama’s heart, I am willing to listen to you rant for hours. I wouldn’t kick up such a huge fuss if it didn’t affect the teamplay. Your teamwork with Takao has significantly dropped and this makes the team feel horrible.” Otsubo stopped in front of his own house. 

_ Don’t say his name, please. _

“If you aren’t going to say anything, up to you, I have things to do too.”

_ I can’t, you know I can’t. I… can’t… I love him too much, I refused to believe that... _

“Well, I will see you tomorrow then.” Otsubo unlocked his gate and walked in.

“Wait, Captain,” Midorima finally called out just as Otsubo was about to close the door behind him, “If you don’t mind… can I stay at your house tonight? My parents will not be home and…”

_ I am afraid I will do stupid things. I need someone to watch me. I am afraid I will suddenly wake up at night crying, I am afraid I will not be able to sleep, I am afraid… I am afraid I will…  _

“Sure. My parents won’t be home anyway.” Otsubo opened the gate for Midorima.

_ … kill myself. _

Midorima settled in his captain’s room and placed his bag neatly in one corner. Otsubo had just went out to get some dinner since he figured both of them would be hungry. Midorima didn’t really know what he should do and decided he might just as well start his homework.

‘Write an essay about unrequited love.” was the task for his english homework.

_ No. _

_ Not now, not now, not now when I’m feeling horrible. Not now, not when I just thought about my own unrequited love. _

“Why is suicide common amongst teenagers with broken hearts?” was the news article he was supposed to analyse.

_ No. No. Stop this. _

_ That’s like me right now. I can’t cope, I don’t think I can read the article. _

“Coping with heartbreaks.” was the category of a book for his lucky item of the day.

_ Stop. Stop. I can’t. I can’t take this. _

_ Not only am I last place in luck, the world is messing with me.  _

Midorima threw his things up in despair and collapsed on the table. He didn’t care much as pain surged through him when he hit his head too hard. He didn’t care if it hurt him physically when he was breaking down internally. He would do anything, physically break a bone, anything just to get rid of that emotional pain.

But get Takao back as well.

Without Takao, Midorima could have never lasted this long. He would have crumbled months ago.

Just like how he is on the verge of breaking down now.

 

### 

“Give him a call.”

Midorima’s heart stopped for a second.

“W-What?”

“Give him a call, maybe you should speak your mind to him.”

“You mean… c-confess…?” 

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t mention that but you can take that as a confession.”

_ I’m pretty sure that sounded like you are forcing a confession out of me. I can’t… I can’t confess to him…  _

“But what if…”

“Just stop making excuses. Call him. Call Takao.”

“I don’t have his number…”

“... Here, use mine.” Otsubo threw his phone to Midorima. Tentatively, Midorima scanned through the contacts for Takao’s number. Truth is, he did have Takao’s number, and even if he didn’t, he had memorise Takao’s number by heart. As he place the phone at his ear, he saw Otsubo get up to leave.

“C-Capta-” “I’m gonna give you two some privacy k, just call him.”

Takao picked up the call, surprisingly.

“Captain? What’s up?”

“... T-Takao…”

“S-Shin-chan…?”

“I… I have something important to tell you, could you um meet me at the street basketball court?”

“Like now?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure, see you, Shin-chan.”

Midorima packed up his things and left the room. Otsubo who was lying on the sofa ran up and stopped him in his tracks.

“Woah Midorima, where are you going?”

“Street basketball court.”

“I’m coming with you.” 

Midorima glanced uncomfortably. He didn’t know if he could confide his feelings with Takao if his captain was there.

“No, I have zero intention of listening to your confession. I will be a distance away, I’m just there for back up, stop giving me that look.” Otsubo growled and opened the door for the both of them.

Surprisingly, Takao did turn up. And he was alone. No girlfriend, just them, alone on the court. He was sitting on one of the benches and seemed to be deep in thought.

 

###

 

“Hey Takao.”

“Oh, hi Shin-chan! Why did you call?”

“I have something important to tell you. I…”

Takao looked at him with that beautiful eyes of his.

_ I am gay and I am in love with you. _

“... I am..." 

Takao just eyed him, that signature grin still on his face.

"... I am gay and I think…”

He noticed that sudden glimpse of surprise, no shock, in Takao’s eyes.

_ Do it already. _

“I think… I think…”

Takao seemed to be urging him to continue his sentence.

_ I love you. I love you. I love you. _

“I… I… I…”

They were so close now. So close, just inches apart.

“I love you.” 


	9. too

_ “Midorima… I don’t think we… our friendship will work anymore… Thank you for those fun times but I think we should move on.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “I-I can’t keep up anymore. I’m really sorry, Midorima. But I need a life of my own.” _

_ The words stung Midorima’s heart indescribably. _

_ “I… I don’t follow.” Midorima stuttered. _

_ “Don’t you get it? You are tough to be with. I cannot forever stay your servant. I’m moving on, have a great day ahead.” Takao turned and walked away, wrapping his hand in his girlfriend’s. _

_ “I never saw you as a servant! Takao, you are my only friend!” Midorima yelled in pain. _

_ The green-haired stood there, wide-eyed, heartbroken as he watched Takao’s shadow fade in the distance. _

_ This was not happening. This was not happening. This is not even a break up, this is… this is… this means that… that…  _

_ … that their friendship had officially come to an end. _

_ There was a faint taste of saltiness in his mouth and he could feel his knees giving way.  _

_ Then, something knocked him hard on the head. _

“MIDORIMA! MIDORIMA SHINTAROU!”

_ What? _

Midorima looked up and saw his teacher staring at him, obviously mad at him.

“Why were you sleeping in class? And crying?”

_ Wait. What? I’m… crying…? Shit, that dream. _

“I am sorry for disrupting the lesson. I will accept any punishment given out.” Midorima apologised sincerely. 

_ How the hell did I fall asleep? _

“You are lucky this is your first time. There will be no punishment for you, however if you do that again, I will not hesitate to speak with your parents. I suggest that you go to the toilet to wash up.”

“Thank you, Teacher.” Midorima calmly walked out of class and headed to the toilet down the corridor. He pushed open the toilet door to see someone familiar standing in front of the sink, hands gripping the edge tightly with his head down. 

Oh, this was going to be so awkward. What the hell was Takao doing here?

\--

Midorima remembered that his face was probably tear stained and quickly walked behind Takao to the sink at the furthest end.

“I see you were caught falling asleep as well.”

Oh, how he missed that voice of Takao’s. However, there was a change in his tone. Instead of the bright and cheerful exclamations, Takao sounded… cold and unloving. Midorima said nothing as he turned on the tap, hoping to drown out their conversation.

“I guess it must have been pretty sad since you cried too.”

_ Too…  _

Takao slowly lifted his head, his bangs covering his eyes as he turned towards the end of the toilet where Midorima was trying hard not to cry. Or say anything that will give away his sorrow.

“Well, I cried too… I wonder why I even dreamt of such a thing…”

_ Could it be… _

“W-What did you dream of…?” Midorima felt his voice crack as he said those words.

Takao walked closer to Midorima and lifted his eyes, revealing his silver eyes that were once again masked with an unforgiving coldness. A moment later, they were so close together that Midorima could feel Takao’s breaths hitting him.

“I dreamt of… of… our… end of… end of…”

“... our friendship…?”

There was a cold and awkward silence in the air as they both stared into each other’s eyes.


	10. Losing

Losing was always hard for Midorima. Losing someone he loved? That was worse, and because of that, Midorima slipped into depression. Takao’s death was a big hit for everyone, even for the GoM. They all respected Takao for his abilities and personality, but the one that was affected worse was none other than Takao’s Shin-chan. 

Takao left on a Friday night. Midorima was sleeping peacefully when suddenly his phone buzzed to life. Midorima glanced at the caller ID. Takao. Seriously? Why is Takao calling so late? 

“Takao, what’s wrong?” Midorima answered, slightly irritated. 

“Is this Shin-chan?” A lady asked. 

“Yes. Is that you Takao?” Midorima wondered who that lady was. 

“Takao was just involved in an accident and is currently in the ICU. He often speaks-” Regardless what the lady had said afterwards, he did not bother. Takao was in an accident? And in the ICU? 

“He’s at Akashi’s Hospital, in case you want to come immediately.” Midorima slammed his phone down, changed his clothes, put on his jacket and raced to the hospital. Oh god, please please, let Takao be well and alive. Midorima kept mumbling to himself. 

When he reached there, the GoM and Shutoku team members had arrived. At that moment, the doctor informed them a bad piece of news. Takao only had a few more minutes left on life support system. They were urged to say their goodbyes before it was too late. Everyone rushed to Takao’s bedside. 

“Hey...” Takao whipsered in a barely audible voice. 

“It’s been nice knowing you, Takao.” Kagami added on. 

“Kazunari, your friendship with us is well appreciated.”

“We respect you, Takaocchi!”

“Do not worry about us, we will do fine, Takao.” Otsubo commented quietly. 

“We love you, son.” Takao’s parents cried and gave Takao a kiss. 

“Shin-chan? Is Shin-chan here?” Takao was choking. He had less than 2 minutes left. 

“Takao, I’m here...” Midorima took a step forward. 

“Shin-chan, I will always love you. Even if I’m gone.” Takao was fading. 

“I love you too, Takao.” Midorima smiled back at Takao. Midorima gave Takao a passionate kiss till he felt Takao’s soul fade. People say that after you die, you have 7 minutes to reminisce all your memories and hear what people are saying. 

_ 7 minutes of Shin-chan. What more could I ask for? _

_ Memories of Midorima in the cart, playing basketball together. ... _

_ 5 minutes left. _

_ Midorima confessing his love. Kisses, dates. ... _

_ 3 minutes left. _

_ Midorima kissing him. All those enjoyable times they had together.  _

_ 1 minute left.  _

_ “Takao, I love you.” _

_ “I love you too, Shin-chan.”  _

The monitor went dead. There was no heartbeat detected. Takao had left them. Everyone was crying, although they had mentally prepared themselves for this. Takao’s parents held onto each other has they cried. The GoM had tears streaming their faces while Takao’s teammates were crying their hearts out. Midorima was seating beside Takao, holding his lifeless hands and tears pooled out of his eyes. He cried the most and refused to let go of Takao’s hand. Midorima’s vision was so blurry he couldn’t see anything. His heart ached, a stinging pain of depression engulfing him. Midorima could feel someone pulling him away from Takao and struggled but the force was too strong. He let himself be separated from Takao and mumbled, “I love you, Takao. Don’t forget me wherever you are.” 

##

When Midorima woke up, he found himself in his bed. It was 5am. Midorima reached out for his phone to call Takao when he remembered Takao had passed away. He sat on his bed and started crying for hours, flipping through every picture he had on his phone of Takao, reminiscing all the good times they had. 

They held Takao’s funeral on a Sunday. Midorima remained silent for the whole time, he didn’t even go up to give a speech, being Takao’s boyfriend and all that. “Rest in Peace, Takao.” 

After Sunday, no one saw Midorima again. He had apparently locked himself in his room, never appearing to anyone. His parents had tried all they could to comfort their poor son. They knew how much Midorima loved Takao, and how Takao was always the only one who seemed to make Midorima happy. 

“Shin, you should come out for dinner.” His mother called out to him. There was no response. She slid the food into the room. 

“Son, we know you are sad, but you shouldn’t lock yourself like that.” His father advised. Still, there was no response. 

Midorima was silently crying in the room, scavenging for as many photos of Takao as he could. He searched through his wardrobe, found some of Takao’s clothes and held them close to his chest. “T-Takao... why...” Midorima cried, “Why did you h-have.... to... die... I l-love y-you… why must you d-do this t-t-to me...”

A week had passed and Midorima still hasn’t emerged. 

Desperate, his parents contacted Midorima’s teammates in Shutoku. 

“Hey Midorima, we are all sadden by Takao’s passing and we understand you feel sad. So why don’t you talk to us or something?” Otsubo asked. 

“Midorima, I’m sure Takao would not want to see you in this state.” Miyaji spoke. The rest of the team gave Midorima some brief counselling and some short advices. Throughout, there was no response from Midorima’s room. The team feared something bad happened to Midorima but they trusted that Midorima was intelligent enough to know what to do. Despite such advice, Midorima still never came out. He also barely ate the food given to him. 

Desperate, his parents consulted their final hope, Midorima’s former teammates. The GoM arrived promptly. 

“Hey Midorima, you know, we brought some of Takao’s stuff over, thought you would like it.” Aomine slid a file through the door gap. Following that were journals, then pieces of clothes one by one. 

“Midorima-kun, you should come out and talk to us if you need help.” Kuroko tried to help. 

“Midorimacchi...” Kise hesitated. 

“Mido-chin, come out and eat some snacks to feel better.”

“Shintarou, we are all deeply sadden by the passing of Takao and we are sure you are too. As such, we would like to know if you are ok, if you need any comforting.” Akashi cleared his throat and spoke. 

Surprisingly, the door clicked unlocked. 

The GoM hesitated and opened the door. They looked inside and saw Midorima in his worst state ever. Photos were strewn across the floor, plates were stacked at a corner. The file Aomine had slipped in was emptied along with Takao’s clothes piled up into a small hill. Midorima was crouching against the wall, hugging his knees and held a photo of him and Takao kissing in his hand. The GoM could hear soft sobs emanating from Midorima. Kuroko was the first to react. 

“Midorima-kun, it’s okay.” Kuroko placed his arm around Midorima’s shoulder.

“I-I can’t-t be-believ...” Midorima stuttered through his tears. Kuroko lifted up Midorima’s head, revealing his tear stained face and red puffy eyes. Tears were streaming down and Midorima looked horrible. Kuroko gave Midorima a warm hug and Midorima buried his head in Kuroko’s chest.

“I know, we can’t either.” Kuroko comforted the poor boy. who gradually fell asleep in Kuroko’s arms. The GoM helped to clean up the room, wash the dirty dishes and repositioned everything Midorima would expect them to be. 

They came everyday to cheer Midorima up. Sometimes it worked, when Midorima talked to them. Others, he just cried throughout the day. Kuroko and Aomine once had to stay overnight with him to stop him from running away from home (Kuroko to talk Midorima out and Aomine to chase him). Despite all the advice, Midorima’s health seemed to be deteriorating. 

It totally came unexpected.

Midorima just fainted while climbing down the stairs and fell off. When they heard a loud thud, Midorima’s parents came running down to see their son unconscious on the ground. His mother called the ambulance while his father informed the GoM, just in case.

They rushed him to the hospital and the paramedics checked for vital signs and possible internal injuries. There were none and the doctors decided it was till to fatigue and lack of food so his body had just shut itself down to keep the heart pumping.

They wanted him to eat some food but it was no use. They even tried to resort to feeding tubes but Midorima would refuse all help. He wouldn’t even look them in the eye anymore. Everyone tried to talk him to take care of himself, Akashi, Aomine, Kise, Murasakibara (who offered Midorima snacks but the latter refused), Kuroko, even Miyaji, Otsubo, Kimura, the Seirin guys and of all people, Nijimura and Haizaki who decided to knock some sense into him. No one managed to convince him and they all knew that internally, Midorima had shattered beyond repair.

 ##

The sky had turned completely black and he was sitting under a tall tree with cherry blossoms on a hilltop overlooking a beautiful view of bustling Tokyo. Faintly, he saw someone familiar walking closer to him.

_ “Shin-chan.” _

His head turned to look for that person. Only one person called him “Shin-chan”, Takao, he was back! He started yelling for Takao’s name, he wanted to hug Takao, kiss him, tell him how much he missed him.

_ “Takao! Takao! Where are you?!” _

The person came closer and indeed, it was Takao. He was glowing brightly, lightening everything in its path like a streetlight.

_ “Shin-chan, why are you here? You must return, you can’t be here.” _

_ “Takao,”  _ Midorima reached out to grab Takao and pulled him closer for a hug. Strangely, Takao felt normal, his body of the usual warmth,  _ “Takao, I miss you so much. I love you. I…” _

_ “Shin-chan, it’s okay. I still love you, I will never forget you. But you must go back, your friends, they all need you to get better.” _

_ “I don’t want to, I want to be with you. Takao, don’t leave me.” _

_ “I wish I could but I have to go. It’s okay, we will meet again.”  _

MIdorima could feel Takao’s body disintegrating slowly into ashes.  _ “TAKAO, I… I LOVE YOU! I REALLY DO!”  _ Before Takao completely vanished, Midorima grab Takao’s face and pulled in for a kiss, the last kiss he would ever give someone. His lips remembered the taste of Takao’s, the way Takao would entice him for another kiss, he could never forget those. When they pulled away, Midorima hugged Takao as long as he could.  _ “I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Kazunari..” _

And then it happened, Takao completely vanishing as an eagle soared overhead. Somewhere, from someplace far away, Midorima heard the familiar voice of Takao.

_ I love you too, Shintarou. _

His eyes slowly closed and the next second, he awoke to be greeted with familiar faces of his teammates. Slowly, he opened his mouth.

“I accept the treatment.”

_ Takao, wait for me. I promise I will come for you but I have these guys to live for. _

_ Of course I will Shin-chan. I’ll watch over you and I’ll wait for you. After all, I love you and only you, my Ace-sama. _

_ I love you too, Takao. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i found this story i wrote quite some time back. personally, i feel that it is pretty incomplete. ill see to that issue :< but do enjoy the midotaka death fic for now
> 
> no this is one of the kind, i solemnly swear you have never read such a midotaka fic before.


End file.
